Passages From Ritsu's Secret Diary: What could've been but what is now
by meggyneedzalife
Summary: Takano-San, I wonder how things would have turned out between us, if we hadn't made that mistake ten years ago. This is my unusual take on how I think things might have worked out between the two told in Ritsu's POV. Warning: there are mentions of some *cough* activities 0/0 but I tried to keep it soft so enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**So I decided to write an SIH fanfic. Why?** **Because I want to!** **Ahhh yes Lord Usagi's words of dominance not much needs to be said after that line or rather there are no words that can go against that claim Lol.**

 **Anyway I'm getting off topic here so I'll keep it short. Many want to know what would have happened had the incident between Onodera and Takano 10 years ago never occurred or was resolved quickly before things turned out as they did, so I came up with an interesting way in which to present my idea of what could have happened. I'll try to keep the characters personalities as close as I can but it might be a bit difficult. By the way it's told in Ritsu's point of view. (** **WARNING:** **yes there is some mention of some…*cough*** _ **activities**_ **but I'm trying to keep them as soft as possible…USE YOUR OWN IMAGINATION!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own SIH or its content it belongs to its rightful owners I only own the idea and the laptop that I am typing this fanfic on lol.**

 _ **Takano-San, I wonder how things would have turned out between us, if we hadn't made that mistake ten years ago.**_

 **Chapter 1: Misunderstanding**

"Does this mean we are going out?"

It should've been the simplest question in the world to ask, but for me it took every ounce of courage I could muster, every ounce in my body just to say that simple line.

My heart is pounding like crazy, the heat in my body has skyrocketed, I'm sweating and trembling like I've been out in the cold too long which wasn't the case. Granted, the window in Sempai's room was open and a cool breeze was scattering sakura blossom petals all over the room but nothing too crazy. You could almost say it was the picture of tranquility and peace.

Out of uncertainty I grab my flailing shirt and clutch it closed to hide my exposed chest. I force my face down to hide my embarrassment. I don't want Sempai to see just how red my face has become. I wait patiently for an answer.

Nothing.

Suddenly I hear a chuckle.

I raise my head to see Sempai laughing. My world shatters.

" _W-What? Why is Sempai laughing? Does he just think it's a joke?"_

I want to ask him why he thought what I said was funny but I can't seem to speak. I'm too confused. What was there to laugh about? I asked an honest question and I was hoping for an honest answer but not this. My emotions start getting the best of me. I no longer feel that passion that I felt just moments ago. Instead in that twilight-lit room I feel anger, frustration, and irritation. How dare he make a joke out of my feelings for him! Was this relationship with sempai nothing more than a joke to him?! I feel my emotions mix into nothing but pure anger.

" _Ri…are you…?_

I'm sure that Sempai was trying to say something to me but at that moment I was too blinded with rage to hear anything else. Finally without any control left in my body I shot up, roundhouse kicked sempai, grabbed my belongings and flew out the door. I didn't bother to look back because I was certain that if I did I probably would have felt bad and ran back to sempai to apologize. But I didn't. There was no way I was going back. With tears burning my dry eyes I continued to run. I didn't stop till I was at home.

Once home I didn't talk to anyone I just quickly ran upstairs to my room in my disheveled school uniform and plopped on the bed smothering my face into my pillow. I wanted to just forget what had happened. At some point I fell into a light sleep which was quickly disturbed when I heard my mother open my door.

"Riichan, you awake?" I heard my mother's soft voice from the doorway.

I grunted a little in response.

"Riichan, we need to talk." She stated then sat down at the edge of my bed.

I was a bit confused but decided not to say anything other than "hai?" My mother paused for a moment then she seemed to notice something.

"Riichan, your face!"

I was confused but suddenly realized what she was talking about when I wiped a stray tear from my face.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" My mother was a bit of a worry wart at times.

"I-I'm okay" I lied sitting up in my bed. I tried to change the subject so I asked, "What did you want to talk about?"

My mother didn't look convinced but then as if remembering what she was talking about made an "oh" look with her face.

"That's right I wanted to talk about your performance at school?"

"My performance?" I asked questionably.

"Your teachers called me and said they were worried because you seemed very distracted in class."

"Huh?" I tried to think about when I had ever been distracted but then several instances popped into my head and they all started with _Saga-Sempai_. My chest tightened a bit as I thought of him.

"Riichan?"

"Gomen, Okaasan." I laughed sheepishly. "I'll do better."

My mother didn't really look convinced but she didn't pry either. She got up and just as she was heading for the door I asked her a kind of unusual question.

"Would it be possible for me to study abroad?"

My mother looked a little shocked but then she stopped and thought for awhile.

"I'll have to ask your father about it first." She stated before closing the door.

I slumped back down on my bed and closed my eyes again.

 _Sem-pai…_ I muttered before falling into a restless sleep.

The next day I felt like I had been hit by a train. With less than a few hours of sleep to go off of I was a wreck. I tried very hard to focus on my studies in class but it seemed impossible at times I even managed to screw up the most simplest of math problems assigned on the board. It was completely and utterly embarrassing. It didn't stop there either. I tried to keep my distance from sempai but somehow or another I always found myself seeing him everywhere. He tried to talk to me on several occasions but I just avoided him. It went like this for almost two weeks until…

One day as I was just finishing class I almost bumped into Sempai. I tried to turn the other way but he grabbed onto my wrist hard. He stared me square in the face.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Let go of me Sempai! You're hurting my wrist!" I tried to squirm out of his grasp.

I could hear the other students whispering and of course the girls squealing at the sight of sempai.

"Saga-Sem…" I was cut off as he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me along behind him. I nearly tripped several times as he forced me up to the library which by the way I avoided like the plague. The whole time I was being dragged the only sight I saw in front of me was bright yellow. Somehow the way that the sun shone seemed to make Sempai's yellow cardigan glow bright like the sun was just inches from my vision. I suddenly felt my face start to warm up again. It was a feeling I had been missing for the last couple of weeks. When realization hit me I tried to quickly shake it off. We were just inches from the door when he yanked it open and pulled me in. I almost fell over by the sheer force.

A few minutes after arriving, the last of the students left the library. Saga-Sempai finally released his hold on me and as I tried to make my way for the door he quickly locked it then blocked it with his body making my means to escape impossible.

"Sempai, let me out!" I tried to get past him but he wasn't budging an inch.

"No. Not until you tell me why you've been avoiding me."

"I-I haven't been avoiding you…haha…" I tried to laugh it off.

"Bullshit." Saga stated bluntly. I could clearly sense the irritation in his voice but that wasn't to say that I wasn't shocked by that kind of response. I think I actually jumped a little.

 _Sempai's going to kill me!_ That was the only thing running through my head at that moment.

I remained silent and avoided eye contact all together. We both remained silent for a bit until Sempai broke the silence.

"Oi, why have you been avoiding me?" Saga pressured me to answer but I refused to budge an inch. _Why? He's asking me why?! Fine I'll let him know!"_

I felt irritation and rage boiling within me and finally I let him have it.

"You used me." I planned to scream at him but it came out more like a whisper.

"Huh?" Saga looked confused.

"Don't act stupid! You played with my feelings and acted like they were a joke!" My face was starting to get red and tears formed in the corners of my eyes. I grabbed Sempai's shirt fiercely.

"When did I ever do that?" Saga looked at me then placed a hand on mine.

"A couple of weeks ago, when I asked you if we were going out, you laughed." I gripped his shirt harder out of frustration

"Huh?" Saga seemed to be trying to recall what happened then as if remembering he let out a huge sigh. "I see." He muttered under his breath.

"Huh?" I lessened my grip and looked at Sempai.

"You thought I was messing with you."

I didn't say anything I just continued to look at sempai.

Saga let out another sigh and looked back at me.

"Just so you know I never once thought that your feelings were a joke. When I laughed it was because I thought it was funny what you were asking."

"And why was that funny?" I could feel my anger starting to rise again.

In a calm voice he stated, "I thought it was funny because you should already know the answer to that question, I thought it was obvious, I mean after everything we've been through why would you ask such a silly question."

I felt my anger instantly dissipate. Instead I was left with a sense of guilt and relief. I just hung my head in shame.

Saga lifted my face and with his thumbs wiped away my tears. Then there was the touch of something warm and soft against my lips. _Sempai is…kissing me?_ When I realized that, I got a little distracted and tried to push sempai away.

"I-I can't Sempai…" I turned around and walked away from him.

"Why?" Saga asks simply.

"I-I'm leaving, I'm going to study abroad."

"What?"

"I've been falling behind in a few of my courses and…"

"And?"

"I've already talked to my parents about it and they have agreed to let me go."

"Why would you…" Saga seemed to instantly understand. "It's because of me."

"…"

Saga sighed. Then he suddenly walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"S-Saga-Sempai?"

"Ritsu…don't go." Saga whispered into my ear. The sound of his soft voice made my heart start pounding uncontrollably and my face started warming up. For some reason when he says my name I lose my sense of reason and feel like I'm turning to putty in his arms.

 ***(You know what usually happens next 0/0)***

Saga had me pinned down to the floor, his body hovering over mine. The lights had been turned off yet despite this I could still clearly make out his form. He was covered in sweat from head to toe and panting heavily but also so was I. I saw my own reflection of my red face in his eyes which made me incredibly embarrassed. I desperately tried to cover my face with my arm and he tried to pry it away.

" _Let me see your face."_ Saga whispered to me. My face instantly became redder.

"N-No way" I resisted.

Saga managed to pry my arm away from my face, but I managed to block it again this time with a book.

"Why are you so hesitant to letting me see your face when we've done this how many times?"

"S-Sempai..!" out of embarrassment I took my discarded school uniform and threw it at sempai. What I didn't realize was at that little outburst I lost my cover and my face was once again exposed. I looked for the book but it was nowhere to be seen until I looked up at Saga.

Saga was holding the book from my reach and tossed it to the side. I stared up at Sempai's face. I think my heart skipped a beat. Sempai was smiling? A real genuine smile. I couldn't believe it.

He laid his complete weight on me and I wrapped my arms around his head ruffling his hair a bit.

"I love you, Ritsu."

I felt at peace with the world. And I knew this time that I hadn't misheard him. I hugged him close to me as hot passionate tears ran down my face.

"I love you…Sempai."

After that the world somehow seemed brighter. After school for weeks after we would head up to the library and Sempai would tutor me on the subjects I was failing on, though it was always hard having Sempai sitting right next to me but I somehow got through it. I felt like I was gradually getting closer and closer to Sempai. I felt like nothing could possibly ruin these peaceful moments. Or so I thought.

"Ehhhhhhh?! You're parents are getting divorced?!"

The bomb had been dropped.

 **Alright well that's the first chapter. Please feel free to let me know what you think about it I will try to post another chapter soon but I think I need to work on the other chapters to my other stories first lol.**


	2. Hiatus notice

sih story hiatus notice:

I apologize to my readers but unfortunately I have to put my story on hold due to some issues that recently came up.

I realize that I am doing is what I hate the most about writing and that's making people wait for more which is why I try not to post these kind of pages if I can help it.

I have not given up on the story I have plans to continue it when I can. I appreciate all the wonderful comments and I'm especially happy about all the favorites and followers. I hope you enjoy the story so far.

Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions and I will make time to answer those. I am not sure how long the story will be on hiatus but I will try to post new chapters when I can.


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